Sand Sharks

"Just when you thought you were safe out of the water"

This movie is unsurprisingly about sharks. Sharks swimming in sand.

I can't remember how many shark movies I've seen the last couple of years, but this is still probably the only one with sharks actually hanging around out of the water, at least for prolonged periods of time.

Sand sharks doesn't have much of a plot more than that there are sharks, they are out to eat everyone, and they swim in the sand instead of the water, and are attracted to sound/vibrations (so yes, this is a low(er) budget version of tremors with sharks instead of snakes).
Also, there are a bunch of scantily clad women, because who would expect something else with a movie that has "Sharks" in the title? I don't really see the connection, but for some reason it seems obligatory.

What makes this movie a bit special is the fact that it actually seems to a kind of parody of..this kind of movie. But it's still at the same level as for instance Megashark vs Whatever animal you can think of, and it's not really funny, it's just obvious that it's not supposred to be serious. Sadly, the movie don't really succeed in making fun of itself, so it feels like the parody part is wasted.

On the plus side, there are a couple of giggle-inducing special effects, and, well, sharks that swim in the sand. All in all, pretty entertaining, but no masterpiece in any sense of the word.

The next time I see a shark movie, I really want everyone to be fully clothed to be honest.
Especially the sharks. That would be a fucking awesome movie.

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Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus

Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus is the story of a huge prehistoric shark fighting an equally huge prehistoric octopus.

Both animals are frozen solid in the polar ice caps mid-battle, but they break free when the ice caps start melting due to global warming.

I really don't think I need to say very much about this movie, it's so obviously great that I'll just let this clip of the shark biting an airplane speak for itself.









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Alien Origin

"The footage is real. The proof is irrefutable."

In an attempt to make some money of the recent Alien hype caused by Prometheus, The Asylum Home Entertainment made a movie showing how their own alien mythos began.
There are a couple of problems with this idea, especially the facts that The Asylum doesn't have an alien mythos of their own, and that there aren't really any aliens in the movie.

The movie takes places in a jungle of sorts (although it's painfully obvious that it's actually not filmed in a jungle, with at least one metal pole sticking out of the ground at one point), possibly somewhere in South America. The location might have been mentioned, if it was I probably just didn't pay attention.
A military team is on some sort of mission in the jungle, with a reporter and a cameraman tagging along documenting the expedition.
Most of the movie is shown through the cameramans point of view, with a The Blair Witch Project kind of shaking camera effect, which is just as annoying in Alien Origin as it was in Blair Witch. They even used the old "this footage was found at a later date" idea.

Plot wise, this movie really doesn't have anything to show for itself. There are a couple of scenes inside a cave, where the team finds a laughably poorly made alien skull, as well as a scene inside an alien ship, which looks surprisingly human made.
I'm not sure how the actually got inside the ship, I guess I nodded off a bit when that happened, but I guess that doesn't matter. It wasn't very exciting anyway.
For some reason, the ship shoots fireworks after they escape from it.

All in all, nothing happens in Alien Origin. It's 88 minutes of a shaky camera filming militaries who don't know how to handle guns running through a jungle.
Probably the most boring movie produced by The Asylum I have ever seen.

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